Kindred Unleashes New Program

Strange Tony,

Kindred is ready to kick off a new initiative, Kindred for ME.  Male Executives are expected to do quite well under the new program.  Regular employees not so much, as raises remain infrequent and elusive.

Anonymous

VP Toad Ignorant, Arrogant and Condescending

Strange Tony,

Your encouragement to be a blessing came at a critical time.  Kindred Vice President Toad visited our hospice site recently.  He carried a large leather briefcase.  Staff did not know why he'd returned.  Such information is closely held by management.

Toad holed up with our Branch Manager, cooking up plans to deal with secret issues.  He did break often to use the restroom and at odd times to eat lunch.  Our VP went directly to his destination with little chit chat.  He avoided people doing actual hospice work.  Most of the time Toad walked briskly, head down while speaking into his blue tooth.  This posed a potential safety hazard, especially at corners near the rest rooms.

Management's marathon sessions culminated with a mandatory staff meeting.  Toad opened his leather bag and threw a folder on the table.  The gullible among us envisioned a pay raise or restoration of looted benefits that migrated into executive pocketbooks with each buyout.  The idealistic were fooled again.

Toad told us our site was under performing because it was not making as much money as the company demanded.  He attributed that to low morale in office personnel and accumulated grief/loss within our nurse and clinical ranks.  He tackled each of these problems separately.

"This office has many long tenured employees.  Kindred views that as a two edged sword.  One edge has experienced employees frequently stuck in their ways and resistant to change.  Kindred made many improvements that employees failed to appreciate, like the harmonization of our 401k retirement match.  Yes, some of you saw that contribution fall 67% but others in our company experienced a 100% increase.  Good employees are happy when other people win.  Other employees failed to appreciate the elimination of the copay benefit for doctor's visits in company provided health coverage.  Kindred gave you an opportunity to experience the full value of your physician relationship by having you foot the whole bill.  That is a direct reflection of management's magnanimous care and appreciation.' 

'The second sword edge for experienced employees is Kindred pays you more than we would for your replacement.  It's not much more given years without raises but every penny digs into executive incentive pay.   The company exists to maximize management's pay, not yours.  As a result we will eliminate this site's long tenured employees at the end of the month.  There will be no severance and your health and life insurance will stop the day of your termination." 

 
One of our four chaplains asked, "How do we know who among us will be let go?"  Toad replied, "It's based on the definition of a long tenured employee."  The chaplain said "Yes, and what is a long tenured employee?"  Toad replied, "You'll have to call the KindredHub line to obtain that information."

VP Toad continued:

"For our nurses Kindred will institute a new bereavement hour after an accumulated twenty patient deaths.  Kindredlink will track your deaths and when you reach twenty our payroll system will automatically clock you out for an hour.  You are to use this hour to get over your grief, drop your negativity and give management the appreciation it deserves for meeting margin and EBITDAR targets.  Got it?

Silence, until our longtime receptionist raised her petite hand.  She asked, "Of our 70 some employees how many did you talk with?"  Toad offered, "Four."  She followed up, "How many outside the management level?"  Toad said, "None."

"And what is the cumulative tenure of those four managerial employees?"  He said, "Two years."

"How many patients and family members did you speak to?"  Toad confessed, "Zero."

Her final question was "Did you consult our last Pwc employee survey results, the ones never shared with our staff?"  Toad said "No, I didn't need to.  Those surveys are not legitimate feedback.  It's more on the level of a female dog."

Our staff left the meeting with disturbing insight into our company.  Kindred has in charge the ignorant, arrogant and condescending.  Lord bless them, they know not what they do.  As one reaps, so shall they sow.

Anonymous (Trying to be a blessing inside Kindredful)