At Gentiva:
1. We grow by shrinking.
2. We listen to our employees by not asking for their opinion, ignoring their words when offered anyway and by firing anyone who dares to speak out.
3. We invest in people who turn over quickly.
4. We show our value of staff by cutting positions and reducing hours.
5. We support employees dealing with stressful work by cutting the rate employees earn paid time off, hiding it deep in series of policy updates.
6. Our employees, our most valuable asset, get no raises most years
7. We take a long term approach by selling out to the highest bidder
8. We manage by whim & impulse, delegating blame when things go poorly.
9. We focus on the big picture by micromanaging.
10. We prioritize image management over substance.
11. Our Human Abuse Department is unparalleled and leaves high marks.
12. We provide exceptional service which is a best mediocre.
This leads to the famous quote by Astronomer Carl Sagan:
"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”
My site is deep in the bamboozle with layers of charlatan's imposing their distorted will. I don't think this will end with a buyout. Charlatans will have new executives/investors to bamboozle. Meanwhile, due diligence is killing us.
Anonymous (from Gentiva)
Oh my gosh this had me rolling with laughter, because it's SO true! Lol. I'm going to share this with some of my fellow Gentiva coworkers.
ReplyDeleteWe reduced our dependence on debt by adding more.
ReplyDeleteThe Kindred deal employs this Gentivaism:
Delete"We will reduce our dependence on debt by adding more."
We communicate with our employees by not moving our lips.
ReplyDeleteWe try to retain good employees by not listening to them and penalizing them for telling us about bully coworkers and rewarding the bullies.
ReplyDeleteOur Human Abuse Department (HAD) feigns interest in hearing about bully managers. However, HAD uses the information solely to identify "negative and unsupportive" employees. HAD partners with the bully to drive any dedicated employee away, through a series of verbal and written counselings. Thus the Gentiva Bully-Bully Club is maintained.
ReplyDeleteNo truer words have ever been spoken. Dedicated employees have been around too long they make too much. The only problem is those who complain about the problem. Their piss poor management is costing the company a lot of money.
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