Saturday, October 12, 2013

Generic Hospice Fires Chaplain


It sounds like things are getting crazy at Gentiva with all those corporate machinations.  Generic Hospice isn't much different. We've been owned by four different companies.  Thank God none ever came around to visit.  They were just a voice at the other end of the phone, barking orders.

The Generic rabbit hole recently had our Branch Manager (BM) fire our best chaplain for working for free.  The chaplain had been warned for:

1)  Working overtime to meet patient and grievers needs
2)  Working overtime to meet patient and grievers needs without permission from management
3)  Working to meet patient patient and grievers needs off the clock, i.e. not putting down their hours worked.
4)  Living, which was in direct opposition to our Branch Manager's desire

This chaplain inspired the rest of us by always listening to our concerns, issues and problems.  Our BM could care less about any staff needs or concerns, unless they miraculously intersected with their needs.

Anyway, the BM canned our chaplain, right there in a public hallway.  Then the darnedest thing happened. The chaplain raised their cross and proceeded to conduct an exorcism.

Just as the chaplain got out "Satan, I rebuke you" the BM, with full facial contortions, shouted, "Get the _uck out of my hospice!"  The BM grabbed the cross and began wrestling for control.  The struggling pair lunged left, causing the chaplain's back to hit the wall hard.  The chaplain worked to regain their breath.  In doing so the chaplain faced their former boss' mad, bulging eyes.

After reaching into their jacket pocket the chaplain threw something white into the BM's face.  The BM screamed in pain, then seemingly shriveled to nothing before our very eyes.  The chaplain stood over the shell of empty clothes, saying "Get the _uck out of my faith."

I asked the chaplain what they'd thrown.  The answer, "Exorcism salt.  Does in a corporate slug every time."  I asked the chaplain to drive a tanker load to our corporate office.  They should arrive any minute.

Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we might be free at last of abysmal management.  Your partner in suffering foolish leaders who can't manage what they can't understand. 


No comments:

Post a Comment